Exeter College, Oxford, Sunday, April 23, 1827
My very dear Mother,
I am distressed to hear that your health suffers such violent interruptions but my uneasiness is somewhat abated by the belief that your complaints have their origin in a too great anxiety respecting you Son's prosperity and success in life. Such feelings are perfectly natural in a widowed Mother toward an only Son, but, my dear Mother, you must not forget that our Nature is corrupt. Anxiety too is my besetting sin: but I strive to repress it as much as possible by considering how ungrateful it is; and what a want of faith it implies in that Being who has hitherto so remarkably prospered my path, and who, I firmly believe, will watch over my future steps. I have no other wish than to resign myself entirely to his guidance; and although of course I have seasons of unbelief I think my heart can [mostly?] say to its Redeemer Lord, I am thy servant; do with me whatsoever thou pleasest. These feelings make me very comfortable with respect to my First Class. I exert myself to the utmost for its attainment, and if it be best for me and my future welfare I doubt not God will prosper my endeavours; if it would lead me into danger or into sin, I pray that he may keep it from me. Though it be dear to me as a right hand or eye I think I could resign it joyfully.
I am exceedingly glad that you that you sent me the papers containing an account of Dr. Hawker's death and funeral. I thought you would not forget me. His was indeed an exit worthy of his life, - and such must be the dying hour of all who know Jesus Christ to be their Redeemer and their God.. The extracts you gave me from Miss Susan Graham's letter interested me much. I should be exceedingly glad to converse with her now, for a few hours, indeed I should consider it a privilege. What a revolution there has been in my views and feelings